The Christmas Gift

Christmas was shaping up to be one of the best of our marriage.

In November that year we found out from our attorney we had been picked to be adoptive parents for an infant to be born the next January.  After 12 years of marriage, and trying to conceive a child for nine years, our dream to parent was about to come true.  The baby was going to be a girl.  The name we chose for her was Hope.  Needless to say we were excited as Christmas was approaching, thinking our daughter would be the best gift we could hope for.

Our dream was shattered on December 9th.

We had attended several doctor appointments with the birthmother and another prenatal visit with an ultrasound was scheduled that day.  Upon arrival, the expression on the birthmother’s face signaled something had changed.  She had second thoughts about the adoption, and indicated she was going to keep the child to parent herself.  The idea of holding our little child in a few weeks in was over. Our Hope was lost.

The joy of the Christmas season was gone in the midst of our grief over losing the prospect of finally becoming parents.  Initially we didn’t feel like celebrating Christmas.  While we respected and understood the reason of the birthmother’s desire to parent her child, we just had questions why God had allowed us to be involved.  Experiencing the pain of packing away pink clothes, comforters, baby bottles, and toys caused us to ask why it had to happen this way.

But during that Christmas season God began to teach us about hope.  Our Hope had been a daughter yet to be born fulfilling our desire to have a baby.  God showed us He had already given to us a baby that was our hope.  This baby was born 2000 years ago in a stable, as the unlikely birthplace for a King.  This baby given to us would be our Savior, our Emmanuel or “God with Us” which was comforting during this difficult time.  This baby was Jesus, the hope to a hopeless world.

We took comfort in knowing that God had already given us the greatest gift when He gave us His son.  As the Christmas season passed and the New Year began, we still yearned to be parents.  We still grieved as the due date approached for the daughter we had hoped to adopt.

A week after this due date passed, we received another unexpected call from our adoption attorney.  He informed us we had been picked again by another birthmother to adopt her child.  After asking when the baby was to be born, we heard the news we had been hoping for years to hear.

Not only had we been picked to adopt but the baby had been born the day before.  Our attorney told us to come meet our newborn son.

Our tears of sadness turned to tears of joy as we came face to face with our long awaited child.  The following day we had the privilege to meet our son’s birthmother.  We asked what the reasons were she chose us.  She stated that she realized from our information that we were Christians.  Growing up she never had the opportunity to go to church but wanted that for her baby.  The second reason was that she had heard about the failed adoption the previous December.  She knew that must have been very painful, and wanted to do something to help us.

God had used the painful experience of our failed adoption to lead a birthmother to give us a child.  God turned a painful experience into one of the most joyous times in our lives.    Since then, we adopted another son two years later.  When our second son was six months old, we had another surprise, but not a phone call from our adoption attorney.  My wife found out she was pregnant.  The next year she gave birth to our daughter.

Experiencing a pregnancy has caused us to have a greater appreciation for the action of a birthmother placing a child for adoption.  There is no greater act of love and courage than to lovingly place a child for adoption in order to provide for them what you cannot.

While the three children God has blessed us with are three of the best gifts we could have ever received, there is one gift that is even greater.  During that painful Christmas several years ago, we were reminded about the greatest gift which is the hope we have in Jesus Christ.

(To learn about the Adopt N.O.W. project, click HERE.)