Raising a Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kid

(excerpts from Bringing Up Geeks: Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids, by MaryBeth Hicks)

Rule #1: Raise a Brainiac

…Just what is a brainiac, anyway? In my geek vernacular, a brainiac is a child who believes he’s smart, who loves the process of learning, and who indulges his natural curiosity for the sake of satisfying his need to know new things.

Note I did NOT say a brainiac is a superior student, or one who achieves high test scores or one whose IQ is over a certain number. My definition of brainiac has nothing to do with performance, and everything to do with learning. …

Brainiacs are kids who read ahead in the book even if the teacher assigns only a few pages of homework because the subject matter is so interesting and they want to learn more about it. …Brainiacs are good listeners, absorbing information from daily conversations as well as from the classroom and various media. They soak in knowledge like proverbial sponges…

But here’s an interesting observation about brainiac geeks: They’re smart enough to figure out what it would take to be cool and popular, but they aren’t willing to sacrifice the rewards of being smart to do it.

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Rule #2: Raise a Sheltered Kid

…Several years ago, when an issue of media access caused some tears, Katie lamented that someone said to her, “You are so sheltered!” She was mortified. I remember telling her then that a “shelter” was a place that protects us, and keeps us safe and secure. It was our job as her parents to shelter her so that she would be safe from dangerous elements in our culture. I said being sheltered was a good thing.

I think this is why my kids are happily uncool. They see our shelter as an expression of our unfailing commitment to assuring that their childhoods are a time of innocence and wonder, and they know our limits are a reflection of our love.

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Rule #4: Raise a Kid Adults Like

Apparently, it’s cool to be rude.

In our culture, it’s also expected. Somehow we’ve twisted our understanding of adolescence to mean a period when self-centeredness and bad manners correlate with growing maturity. …

Sadly, for our culture and more so for our kids, too many parents have bought into that stupid myth. Of course we start out okay—we all work with our kids in their early years to learn “the magic words” and “use your manners,” but they about age eleven or twelve—the age when hormones start to evince themselves in an unwelcome tone of voice—we don’t hold them to standards of polite behavior. We just say, “That’s a preteen for ya!” and throw our hands in the air. In doing this, we shortchange them from living up to their potential to be well mannered and well regarded.

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Rule #5: Raise a Late Bloomer

In my geek vernacular, late blooming has less to do with actual physical maturity than it does with innocence and an extended period of childhood, beyond the cultural definitions of the “tween” years. …

When the focus is off looking and acting older, kids are free to enjoy innocent childhoods. They spend more time pretending and using their imaginations, indulging their creativity, and learning about their world and the environment.

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Rule #10: Raise a Faithful Kid

Our faith tradition views parenthood as a vocation—not a job or a hobby but a calling to serve God by shepherding His children. We view ourselves as our kids’ stewards, charged with helping them toward independence and responsibility, which ultimately will allow them to serve God in whatever capacity He calls them. Our entire geek-parenting strategy reflects this belief about our role in the lives of our children, and of their purpose in creation—to know God, to love Him, to serve Him, and to live with Him for all eternity.

Marybeth Hicks is the author of Bringing up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid’s Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World (Penguin/Berkley, July 2008).

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