A Mother Stands Up

I have a confession to make: For about five years when my boys were very little, I didn’t watch the news once, nor did I read beyond the headlines of a single newspaper. I was simply caught up in the day-to-day, slogging-it-out reality that is motherhood. And I just had to trust that the world at-large would keep spinning without my help.

Now, I do remember being vaguely aware of elections and wars and natural disasters, but if they weren’t running through my living room wearing a dirty diaper, I’m afraid I didn’t pay much attention to the details. But then–one day–I woke up to a reality in which both of my boys were weaned, potty-trained, and capable of getting dressed on their own (so long as I didn’t mind them putting their shirts on backwards or wearing a superhero cape every day).

It was a whole new world. And it’s not that I wasn’t needed in this new world, but it did mean that—for the first time in years—I actually had a moment to myself.

That’s when I started noticing the world outside my door. That’s when I realized it was time to start expanding the boundaries of my life. At first, those boundaries only shifted slightly. At first, it just meant tending more to the needs of our family friends and participating more in the work of my church. But, finally, it meant getting into the political realm, and realizing that the decisions made in the halls of power actually do impact families. Families like mine. Families like yours. And families like Melanie Moulder’s.

Who is Melanie Moulder?, you ask. Well, up until last week she was a woman I’d never heard of. And probably no one outside of her family and friends had ever heard of her either. She was just a wife and mother, living her life as best she could, just like you and me.

But this week, Melanie Moulder expanded the boundaries of her life in a way that will have a real impact on this state. And, unlike many of us who will slowly ease our way back from the (relatively) quiet life of motherhood into the world at-large, step-by-step, Melanie Moulder took one giant leap.

Let me back up for a minute and share with you her family’s heartbreaking history, as she first shared it with me:

My husband is currently serving a 10-year sentence for a crime he committed as a direct result of a gambling addiction.

…My husband didn’t want to tell me he was in trouble. Instead, suddenly I was left alone, a stay-at-home mom with two teenage daughters to raise, without a husband or father for the kids and without any income. He also left behind unpaid credit card debt and a truck that ended up being repossessed. I ended up selling my house at a loss with a lien against it for another credit card debt.

It was so heartbreaking and traumatic I really didn’t feel I would be able to recover.

He was arrested August 2, 2002 and has been in jail ever since.  He will be released in December 2010 without having received any treatment. He is not a bad person and I know full well that an addiction is not a rational process—it creates distorted thinking, irrational behavior, and altered brain chemistry resulting in other aberrant behavior. No one places their first bet planning on becoming addicted or even knowing they are at risk. It is very easy to hide for a very long time before it gets so out of hand.

Reading her story for the first time, I was blown away. The realities of gambling and how it affects individual families was something I had never really considered before. And when I asked Melanie if I could share her story with others, her immediate response was: “By all means … I want nothing more than for something good to come out of our personal tragedy. To paraphrase scripture –What was meant for evil, God can use for good. I really believe that.”

Well, soon afterwards, at the encouragement of Palmetto Family Council’s president, Oran Smith, Melanie went on to bravely share her story in a way that many of us can hardly imagine. This quiet wife and mother stood and testified before a powerful Senate subcommittee on Monday, and it was something to behold.

As you may or may not know, there are two gambling bills being considered by the State Senate right now. Most people in this state aren’t getting too fired up about these bills, assuming (incorrectly) that they are pretty harmless. The bills have been presented to the public at-large simply as “fixing antiquated laws” and allowing people to play Monopoly® without fear of being arrested. But the reality, of course, is that the issues are far more complicated than that. I won’t explain the nitty-gritty of it here, but if you want to read more about it, please click here.

What I’m really wanting to share with you today is a vision of what it looks like when a mother jumps into something with both feet. –What it looks like when a mother stands up for her family. –What it looks like when a mother faces five powerful Senators (four of whom were opposed to her view) about a bad law that she knows will hurt families just like hers.

At one point in her testimony, the Senators—who are off camera—try to tell Melanie that her time is up. After she had patiently waited almost three hours for her turn to talk, those Senators tried to cut her off after a few minutes of testimony. –I want you to see the powerful woman who emerges when they try to shut her down. I want you to see how strong she is, and how she holds herself together with grace and dignity, even though she is clearly trembling inside.

(To see the video, click here.)

After this testimony, Melanie wrote and thanked PFC for helping her find her voice.

I prayed from the very beginning for God to use this for good and His glory, and felt it was time. My friends reminded me that I don’t know who might see this and be helped by our story on a personal level as well.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to let my voice be heard. I don’t think I would have done it without your organization and email alerts as well as your personal involvement and encouragement. …

I was talking to my husband about the legislation the other night and he said that if they bring video poker back, he would be afraid to leave our house. The thought of organized gambling in strikes fear in my heart. So, thank you again and keep up the vigilant work that you do for South Carolina.

The first step is the hardest and I’ve made it. So if you need my help in the future, please don’t hesitate to call on me. I’ll do what I can.

There are no words to express how proud I am of this woman.

Few of us will be called upon to make a stand like Melanie did. But each of us can stand in ways that will make us all proud.

Write your senator today and make him listen. Let him know that—while you may be busy with the demands of daily life—you can still hold him accountable to the work he was elected to do.

And, if even if you’re so swamped right now you could scream, just make a quick donation to Palmetto Family Council. It only takes a minute, and your dollars will go a long way towards winning fights like these.

It’s time to tip the scales of power in our favor. Remember: If we all stand together for what’s right, then none of us will have to stand alone.

Thank you.