OUR SEVEN CORE VALUES:
A Mother’s Work
When I was in college on the eastern shore of Maryland, I had this weird old professor—he was probably about 35. Very, very, very old. And one year, he invited the entire political science department to his house for a backyard barbecue. Well, as a college student, I was always game for anything that involved free food. And, besides, I was very curious about what the life of a professor looked like outside of the classroom.
As we students congregated somewhat awkwardly in the yard of his slightly worse-for-the-wear Victorian home, I was a little surprised to see four tiny children come tearing across the lawn. In my experience, college students tend to forget that small children even exist, so those little kids were a refreshing reminder to me that there was, indeed, life outside of the halls of academia.
We then met the professor’s wife—a woman who, like her Victorian home, was slightly worse for the wear. She was pretty, in a way. Her sensibly short hair was sort of curly, but also sort of messy. Her clothes were far more practical than fashionable, and she may have been sporting a juice stain or two. She just looked sort of…rumpled.
Today, as a 35-ish year-old woman myself, I recognize that rumpled, distracted and somewhat bedraggled look from my own reflection in the mirror. It’s called being a mother of small children.
At the time, however, I had no concept of this woman’s life—but I was curious, so I introduced myself and asked, in a most conscientious fashion, “And what do you do?”
“I’m a mom.”
“Oh,” I said. Looking around and noticing all of the toys strewn across the lawn and up and down the porch steps, I realized that I had asked kind of a silly question.
“But I’m also a consultant.”
“I’m sorry—a what?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Well,” she said, hoisting a curly-headed child onto her hip, “I also am a consultant for a firm in Washington.”
“You drive all the way to Washington every day?” I was incredulous. That was at least a two-hour drive.
“No, no. I work at home,” she explained. “So I can be here with the kids.”
At that point, the clouds in the sky opened up and the sun shone down, and the heavenly hosts broke into the Hallelujah Chorus.
Well, that last part isn’t entirely accurate. But, in my mind, that is kind of what happened.
After a lifetime of not knowing such a thing existed, I had finally been introduced to the concept of the work-at-home mom. And that moment impacted me in such a profound way that, truly, a Hallelujah Chorus is the only way I can describe it.
As an ambitious girl with lofty, if somewhat nebulous, goals of doing something really great with my college degree, I had always sort of wondered how motherhood would fit into the picture. And, finally, I had an example to follow.
Over the years, I would find more examples of the type of work-at-home mother I hoped to be someday. I knew it wasn’t the path for everyone, but it was definitely the path for me. And I was grateful for the all the women in my life who were leading the way.
After my college years, my young husband and I patterned our lives in ways that would build the kind of nest we wanted for our future babies. We put off having children for a while, and I worked to fill my resume with the education and work experience that would allow me to say to a future employer, “I’m going to work at home now. And it’s going to work out fine.” And God, in his graciousness, provided us with just the right opportunities and circumstances that ultimately came together in ways we never could have imagined.
Years later, when we had our first baby, I was thrilled and grateful to finally be able to answer any curious individual who asked: “I’m a mom. And I also work at home.”
A mother’s work can take so many different forms. Simple observation will tell you that. Yet, for me, in those busy baby and pre-school years, working at home was a way to put my children first in a way that best served our family. But, much like the medicine a doctor prescribes, just because it was right for me, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s right for everyone. Nothing in family life is a “one size fits all” scenario, as any mother will tell you. But, for me, this particular fit was perfect.
And as I sit back and consider my other mom-friends—some of them full-time at-home moms, some of them home-school moms, some of them in the office part-time, some full-time with flexible benefits, and even some with a working mom and an at-home dad—I recognize that we are all striving to carve out paths that put our families first. And I recognize that our children are all the better for it.
They say a mother’s work is never done, but each one of us knows that someday it will be. And when that day eventually comes, how amazing it will be to see what an eternally important job we did.
When I think back to that backyard barbecue so many years ago, I am certain that that happy, rumpled, work-at-home mom had no idea what an impact she’d have on my life or the lives of my children.
Yet when I see myself today through the eyes of a curious 19-year-old girl, it is kind of thrilling to realize that my life might help point her to a path that’s just right for her and her future family. –I just hope she doesn’t notice the juice stains on my pants.
2 Responses to “A Mother’s Work”
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Wonderful! I recognize myself in that ambitious girl with lofty goals. Now my favorite “job” is being a mother and managing and nurturing my little ones. Thanks for your insight.
Blessings — Deena
With two young children (ages 1 and 3), I have finally come to realize what is most important — being at home to raise my own children in a godly way and (even more important) to be a godly wife to my husband. Yes, I have a lot of education and work experience, and a high-paying (wonderful) job, but what message am I sending to my family? The wrong one! Now we are aggressively trying to get our roles back to what tradition dictates. I know staying at home full-time will be tough, but I also believe the rewards will be great.