Dinner Party

I don’t have dinner parties nearly as much as I’d like to. All too often, it’s nearly impossible to coordinate schedules with friends, and—by the end of the day—the thought of engaging in sparkling conversation on top of hours spent cooking and cleaning seems just a little overwhelming.

But every now and then, on those rare occasions when the schedules are clear and the energy levels are up, everything comes together to create those golden hours I know I’ll keep forever. Some of my favorite memories involve sitting around a table, laughing and eating, learning more about my friends than I knew before and wishing the evening would last just a little longer.

I can’t even begin to cover everything we’ve talked about, mostly because I don’t remember. In fact, it’s really just the feelings of closeness and connection from those dinners that have stayed with me. And that’s what lets me know that the preparation and work to make it happen were entirely worth it. Every single time.

Now, it’s not that I’ve forgotten every conversation I’ve shared with friends over a meal. In fact, if I had to, I could even quote some particularly memorable lines.

But I do know, with great certainty, that I have never said the following things to a dinner guest:

“I need you to sit on your bottom right this minute.”

“Ok, that was funny the first time, but now you need to stop.”

“I don’t care if you don’t like it. Eat it.”

“Finger out of your nose! Finger out of your nose!”

“Do you have to go potty? You look like you have to go potty…”

Or have I?

You see, pretty much every night, my husband and I host a meal for two very short people. And, as guests go, they can get a little exasperating. One of them almost never, ever puts his napkin on his lap without being expressly told to do it, and he almost always talks with his mouth full. The other one has the bladder capacity of a small mouse, and he disappears to the bathroom five minutes after we start eating…every single night. Oh, and he’ll snatch the meat right off your plate if you’re not looking.

Oh, but these gentlemen are funny. I’ve never shared a table with people who sing more than these two. They’ll sing anything: the National Anthem, Happy Birthday (even if it’s no one’s birthday), the Johnny Appleseed Song, and any random song they make up on the spot.

They also tell the craziest stories. Apparently, one of them is an actual, real-life superhero, but not the kind that flies. He is forever rescuing people and fighting off bad guys. I don’t know how he does it. –And the other one is preparing to become an NFL football player and a famous author and a pirate. Oh, you can imagine the tales he has to tell.

And did I mention their food issues? For all the glamour of being a superhero and a football player/author/pirate, these guys have some very limited ideas about what constitutes fine cuisine:

1) Vegetables should always be raw and served with ranch dressing. Always.

2) All soup is yucky. (Except for tomato soup from a can.)

3) Sauce should always be served ON THE SIDE.

4) Green peppers (or green onions or green basil) can and will ruin any recipe.

5) Anything and everything can be improved with ketchup.

Yep, they drive me absolutely nuts. But, regardless, I am beyond grateful to share our table with them every night.

Really—I don’t mind that some of my best culinary efforts are greeted with their barely suppressed groans. (Well, yes I do. And that’s why they try so hard to suppress them. Because Mama’s not putting up with that nonsense.) And, also, I don’t mind that no one seems to know what a napkin is for. Or a fork. –And, really, I don’t mind that every dinner conversation at our table is punctuated with reminders that we are not animals in a zoo.

Because even though, for the life of me, I can’t remember what most of our dinner conversations have been about, it’s the feelings of closeness and connection that came from those conversations that will stay with me forever. And, more importantly, that will stay with them.

Now, tell me…Do you have to go potty? Because it looks like you have to go potty.

For some family-friendly recipes that can be prepared either with or without yucky green peppers, green onions or basil, please click on
Palmetto Family Recipes. And if you still don’t like it, too bad. Eat it anyway. I don’t have time for this foolishness. And sit down on your bottom. Thank you.

Painting: Frederick Cotman, “One of the Family,” 1880

One Response to “Dinner Party”

1. Deena Bouknight says:

   January 28, 2009 at 4:10 am

   Janet,

   Your style of writing is so witty, yet exudes warmth. Love this piece!